Yours Truly in a Swamp
by
Leonard Earl Johnson

***

The Magical Mystical Hand of Carnival

February 2001

Reprinted from Les Amis de Marigny, New Orleans

A thin slip of paper tucked inside the envelope containing my fat utility bill explained how Entergy Corporation was neither profiting from nor responsible for the sky high price I must pay for gas and electricity. The note said Entergy was merely shaking the invisible hand of the free market’s mystical powers and it was that magical power that was making my money appear in their pockets. Forgive me if I do not join the chorus of true believers.

Put your wine bottle behind the door, Norma, Entergy might try to take that, too!

L.A. Norma came to help hang Carnival lights in the tall dormer windows at Squaller Heights. We left the gas heater turned off and hung the strings of tiny purple, green and gold lights in a chill warmed only by the Winter sun. The sun actually felt hot through the windows and Norma fretted what Summer would do to Entergy’s magical mystical hand.

To reduce energy costs Mardi Gras lights no longer burn at Squaller Heights except for parties. Clash of the titans, Entergy vs Carnival!

L.A. Norma’s Mother died quietly, before Carnival’s first drumbeat fell. She was ninety-four. Norma found her in her French Quarter home, a copy of Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying open beside her on the bed. She wanted no funeral and got none. Her body went to science.

The next day, Norma and I ate a lunch that included malted milks at the Clover Grill on Bourbon Street. Afterwards, we bought two lilies (her Mother's name) and dropped them from the Algiers Ferry. They passed out of sight rounding Algiers Point, across from Faubourg Marigny.

She had also asked that no obituary be published in The Times-Picayune and none was. Norma said it didn’t much matter about the obit, “At ninety-four few are around who much care when you pass away.” Any journalist can attest that if you want a good obit you need to die young.

For now we live, and Carnival parades rattle our windows, and plastic beads rain through the air. It is time to forget both death and how much money we owe Entergy, its Carnival time!

***

Alan Robinson at Faubourg Marigny Books holds his annual open-to-all Medicinal Red & King Cake Party February tenth, the night Krewe du Vieux rolls round the corner of Frenchmen and Chartres.

“Everyone’s a pervert on the night Krewe du Vieux rolls,” Robinson told Norma, who had just flown in from Los Angeles and was filling his ear with the news that Los Angeles’ Department of Water and Power, “Is in NO crises and charges far less than New Orleans!”

“Why,” she asked and answered, “because Los Angeles, unlike the rest of California, did NOT privatize its power company.”

Scant mention of this has appeared in national or local news reports. However, national and local news reports are chock-full of how very well profit-ization would work if only greater costs were passed on to users. Huh, give me a break! What about pulling the plug on privatization and lowering user costs?

Sigh! Seems to me the Clinton era dot.com economy worked a hell of a lot better than returning to this old fossil fuel one, but who cares, it is Carnival time! Time for parades, booze, beads and flesh – not necessarily in that order.

The final float in this parade: The Times-Picayune may have missed Los Angeles dodging the de-regulation bullet, but their People Helper column typo-ed this advise, "Consume ‘hot foots’ and liquids to raise your body temperature and keep warm." Probably they meant "hot foods" – in any case, you can raise your temperature even more better reading your Entergy bill.

“Throw the baby out the window, let the joint burn down…all because it’s Carnival time…” (Al Johnson’s hit, CARNIVAL TIME)